Thursday, 26 September 2013

The War of Energy Maintenance - Top 6 Foods

Our biology requires us to maintain energy through the oral intake of organic chemicals. Let's look at the top energy sources:

6. Broccoli/Carrots

Vegetables taste like the ground we step on, but unfortunately these rebels provide you with the greatest health benefits. You can't be strong without them, so we must tolerate their anarchistic tendencies. The two most efficient ways to force these renegades into your digestive system is through broccoli and carrots.



Broccoli: These resilient bastards are dry and thick, but they have a weakness - hot water. Steam the motherfuckers until their strength is drained, then slather their helplessly hydrated trunks in olive oil and proceed to slide them down your gullet.
Carrots: Going head to head with a fully grown carrot is reminiscent of David and Goliath. That's why you must go after their children. Pop baby carrots like chips and don't think about it.

5. Breakfast




I'm not talking about the first meal of the day. Breakfast isn't a bowl of cereal, a fruit dish or a fancy-ass yogourt parfait.
Breakfast is eggs. It's the bacon, sausage and peameal that are nestled between the crispy hashbrowns and your unsatiated appetite. Start your morning with gunpowder, not lollipops. Start it with eggs.




4. Poutine

Poutine is a gloriously dense bucket of energy and salt. But don't be fooled. If the cheese curds don't squeak between your teeth, and if they can't maintain their form despite the onslaught of hot gravy that envelopes them, then it's not a poutine. If I had a nickel for every time I've ordered a poutine and gotten shredded cheese or cheese chunks, I'd be dead. If you're a restaurant owner, stop trying to fool me - you do not sell poutine - you sell fries with gravy and cheese chunks. Reprint your menu and stop the deceit.

Real curds, no, bricks


3. Thai Curry

What happens when you mix coconut milk, salt and a surplus of unfathomable spices? An all-expenses-paid round-trip to flavour town. When a drop of this golden masterpiece comes into contact with a human tongue, the very fabric of the Universe experiences a subtle jostling. Nobody really knows for sure what's going on with these dishes or what constitutes their magic, so all I can say is the spicier the better. I want my nose to bleed.

Visual representation


2. Pizza

What can I say.  5 billion pizzas sold every year says it all. Greasy cheese slapped onto bread, with unlimited options for toppings. If you don't have a permanent grease stain on your bed, you're not a true pizza lover.
Bread is a waste of space though folks, think of it as a carriage for the meat and cheese. Get thin crust or go home.

Cartoon pizza is best pizza



1. Meat



The backbone of any meal. Meat infuses you with protein and makes you feel like a barbarian. If you don't eat meat, you may as well surrender to nature - let the wind blow you into oblivion.

"You can't put an entire food group as a top food."

Yes I can. I'm not a speciest, all meat provides protein. If you're having a meal and it doesn't have protein, you're not eating properly.

Do what your grandma said, "Eat your meat and grow strong." Don't fuck this up.




Saturday, 21 September 2013

Welcome to Game Theory

Welcome to Game Theory.
Where everything's made up and the points don't matter





Unfortunately game theory isn't quite as entertaining as Whose Line, but it is an interesting way to model human behaviour. I took an entire advanced level economics course in my 4th year at University on this stuff, so it must have some value, right? (right!?) And yes, pretty much everything in game theory is made up.





The best way to get your feet all wet with Game Theory is to become familiar with the simplest game: The Prisoner's Dilemma. You can skip ahead if you already know it, but you'd be missing out on my incredible rendition. It's a little story about two guys who rob a bank, and unfortunately they get caught.

The Prisoner's Dilemma

They had a perfect plan, Slim would stuff the money in the bag while Brute kept everyone down with a loaded gun. Once they had the cash, Greasy would pull up outside to drive them to a getaway boat. But there was one problem - Greasy had a different plan.


"That wretched greaseball!!!" Slim shouted as they dragged him away in handcuffs. Brute stayed quiet as he was loaded into the cruiser.
Greasy had tipped the cops off so he could take all of the money for himself, and he was nowhere to be found.





Authorities put Slim and Brute into 2 separate rooms.
"Alright dirtbag," the cop pushes Slim into the chair. "I want to know who's really responsible for this crime."







The cops give both of them the same deal. If one of them rats the other out while the other stays quiet, the rat will go free and the other sucker will get 10 years in jail.
If they both rat each other out, they both spend 7 years behind bars.
If they both stay quiet, both of them are locked up for just 3 years each.




The game, or payoff table as they like to call it, is modelled as follows:



It's laid out like this for analytical purposes. Here's how game theory works:

1. Take the opponent's move as a given, and then ask yourself what you should play given that move?


If Brute stays quiet, Slim's optimal play is to defect. If Brute defects, Slim's optimal play is to defect. Those choices are highlighted in red.

2. Let's do the same thing for Brute, highlighting his best plays in blue:




The so called "Nash Equilibrium" is the panel where all plays have their move highlighted, it's that simple for this game! In this case, the Nash Equilibrium is to rat each other out. This places them both in the slammer for 7 years. Fools! 
If only they had cooperated!
In aggregate, we actually ended up with the worst outcome, a total of 14 years in prison between the two, with the other strategies totalling 10 years and 6 years.

Let's get some closure on our robbers:

Slim and Brute spend 7 years in jail. Both never speak to each other again since they know they narced on each other. Brute reforms himself, he goes off to trade school and learns how to fix cars. Slim reverts back to petty crimes; robbing liquor stores and stealing purses. Greasy gets hit by a Karma Tsunami while boating away with the cash, turning him into a relic of the ocean.



There's a fancy proof of the Nash Equilibrium for all games in general, with N = {i=1,i=2,...,i=n} players, S = {s1,s2,...,sn} strategies, and Ai outcomes - the simplest one starts with something like this:


I really want to break out the proof here but I think 99% of readers would blacklist this blog, so we can just trust the logic. Economics students waste a lot of time with this kind of thing.

Anyways, beyond all the math they throw at you in an academic setting, there's actually some cool implications. The standard that we learn in economics is price levels in different classes of markets. But there's more applications, here's a couple that I've thought of:

War

Other's needs are getting in the way of our goals?
My serpent blood says Wipe Them Out.


War will continue to be a constant of humanity given the payoffs. We could model a simple war table similar to the prisoner's dilemma as follows:




Nash Equilibrium says "This means War!" Despite it being one of the worst outcomes, the two pride-led nations end up fighting each other. If leaders would check their ego at the door and maybe think about the human race as a whole, we might actually be able to achieve world peace - the best outcome in aggregate. I won't hold my breath though.

There's actually a classic game theory model of the cold war as well, where the Nash Equilibrium tells us that both the USA and Russia will arm themselves to the maximum, despite the costs. 

"From each side's point of view: Disarming whilst your opponent continues to arm would have led to military inferiority and possible annihilation. If both sides chose to arm, neither could afford to attack each other, but at the high cost of maintaining and developing a nuclear arsenal. If both sides chose to disarm, war would be avoided and there would be no costs. If your opponent disarmed while you continue to arm, then you achieve superiority.

Although the 'best' overall outcome is for both sides to disarm, the rational course for both sides is to arm. This is indeed what happened. Both sides poured enormous resources into military research and armament for the next thirty years."

Advertising









Advertising is a great example of game theory in action. Let's check a static 1 period model of advertising:





The top left cell is the Nash Equilibrium.

Of course it doesn't take into account time dynamics and opponent's previous moves (although you can do this with game theory), it's a simple model that demonstrates the outcome of advertising.

Good and Evil



Because we have N players (where N is the population of the world), I can't model this one on paper because I need N dimensions, so let's check it out in words. 

If everyone was good, wholesome honest and respectful, one player could change his play to evil and stand to gain a gigantic payoff, since he would gain a monopolistic benefit to the rewards of being evil.

So what we're left with is, in aggregate, a balance of good and evil right at the margin where switching sides would have no personal effect in terms of raw self-benefit. This model doesn't take into account our inner morals and instincts to protect one another, but it's an interesting discussion.

I thought you could think of a similar model with lying. If everyone was telling the truth, one player could begin telling lies to gain a massive benefit. So more and more people end up telling lies until we reach an equilibrium of lies&honesty which is what exists in our world today.








So Game Theory is actually pretty cool. It helps us understand human psychology a little better and to predict the outcomes of Human Action. Cooperation usually has the best overall outcome, but players tend to make uncooperative moves in anticipation of others doing the same.

The points don't matter, but the implications do.












Friday, 13 September 2013

Bitcoins

Bitcoins are awesome. I appreciate raw, natural economics, and the Bitcoin is the epitome in our current time.

My brothers and I made a PDF a few months ago on Bitcoins. Ignore the poor branding, we tried to sell them on a website and only 3 were purchased.

CLICK HERE for the "e-book" that we made, that conveys our thoughts and feelings towards the new age currency. It's free now, obviously.



Thursday, 12 September 2013

They may seem real

A ubiquitous fog dulls your senses. Your hands are gripping the leathery steering wheel of an old vehicle.  You can just barely make out the scenery outside of your space; a dusty road lined by abandoned buildings. The structures darken as they meet the sky - the silhouettes of their crests are contrasted by a fiery red horizon.

A burgeoning sense of fear permeates through your body. You’re alone, and it’s after you.

The will of your enigmatic predator is unpredictable, and you can’t help but feel its gaze eclipsing your mind.
The relentless sense of insecurity forces you out of the car and into the dark cityscape. The air here is thick and musty. As you helplessly turn towards the sky for answers, your eyes fix upon a tattered billboard, whose towering presence emphasizes just how vulnerable you are.

A crumbling schoolhouse stands on the other side of a neglected basketball court.  Sensing salvation, your body drifts towards the ruins. The atrium is obscured by darkness, the numbing fog’s presence even more prominent. Surrounded only by debris and darkness, a feeling of loneliness washes over you.

“What have I done to deserve this?” You think to yourself.

“It is not something you did. This is not about you.

Over a collapsed beam, a single ray of light creeps through a crack in the ceiling.  Nested at the base is a small plant, its stem and leaves glowing in a brilliant turquoise.

Your mind pleads, “How is this not about me? I don’t feel well.”

The stem curls slightly, and appears to convey an ethereal message: “There is so much more than you can even imagine. Just keep fighting.”

It’s glow fades as the light dissipates before you. With the sense of urgency fading, your body floats outside into the center of the court. With both feet firmly planted on the cracked asphalt, you gaze up at the imposing billboard. Manifesting on its surface, your fate is plastered against the sky.

It’s the corrupted, bloodshot eye of your enemy, and it’s staring into your soul. Your nerves freeze as your breath escapes you. You helplessly twist around, and find that you stand before the shadow of your nightmare.


Your heart jumps. The only thing you feel is your sweaty palms gripping the sheets. It was only a dream.


Monday, 9 September 2013

march, MARCH!!



Since I was just on the light subject of death,  let's turn to the only other certainty: Taxes.

Wait, don't hit the back button yet! Just know this:

In Canada, businesses don't pay HST. If you run expenses through someone's business you can get your HST back, and the business gets a deduction from their income.
Just make sure the expense is related enough to the business to keep it legal.

Tax fraud is wrong and I do not condone it


Ok, are you bored yet? Let's talk about something interesting: explicit vs implicit leadership.

I've encountered many people who demand respect based on superficial attributes such as job title or wealth. This is absurd,

Respect is one of the only things in the world that you cannot buy or steal.

Respect is earned through positive associations with others. Be your best at all times and people will look up to you. I've met many humble people who don't wear a mask of power that I can admire, and I learn from them through osmosis. These are the implied leaders, they leave an impression through their every day actions and so you seek to acquire their admirable attributes.



Then there are the explicit leaders. They get to lead because they have some power of others, power which was given to them by money or physical threat. They can be toxic to people's minds. They make people feel worthless for not being like them, even though the people that they attempt to control have a natural rejection for their behaviour. Over time they finish chipping away at their victims, giving them another tool to attain their ends.




Reject the desire to be an explicit leader. Be an implied leader, you can start right now. Have a positive impact on everyone you meet and build each other up. We're all in this together!

Share what you know and learn from others. Earn respect by being respectable.



Not even stars last forever

Let's discuss a serious issue: The Grim Reaper. Fuck him, right?

Premature death is horrible, so I won't cover that, however -


Timely death isn't a big deal, internet people:

1. It happens to everyone who has ever existed

2. Life wouldn't be valuable if it was infinite, this is basic economics!

3. Time is relative to space (stop thinking of Time as a linear flow!), so as far as we know every second is permanently ingrained into the chain of time. If/When the Universe's displacement of space changes course, time's flow will be altered and you might find yourself living again, in what will feel like an instant.


4. Let's not forget the possibility of reincarnation, for multiple instances of existence in different positions on the time continuum.





What, each point became less and less logical? Oh well, I tried!

Do you have a better rationalization for that cloaked sack of bones?